we are a beautiful mess

a few reasons why i just have to blog this entry after a supercalifragilisticexpialidociously long time:

1) I went Clubbing for the 1st time! okay more like a party but its still 1st time going to a club, THANKS LIZZY!
2) My 18th Bday family photos with mum and tiny are up

On my 18th Birthday this year my mum book this photoshoot thingy kinda as my present. though its mostly on our dearest "tiny" but we sure had fun throughout though it was rather awkward at first for me as its kinda like the 1st photoshoot i have ever since those nude and gay baby photoshoot i took eons ago! i've made some scan on them. and here are the photos from the photoshoot too!

this was when i was a month old; haha unglam nude shoots!

This was when i was 1?

18th Birthday photoshoot!

We do really retarded things when we're bored. and yes we were to bored waiting for ms SUE LOH! forever talking to mr steven ng! and thats the photos of the scrapcard i made for lizzy too!

A trip to cold storage at the holland v outlet as it was the only 24 hours store. i missed a stop and it took me around 45 mins to walk back! WTH right! moronic me! ARGH. went to cold storage just because mascarpone cheese could only be found there. bought all my ingredients to bake the perfect tiramisu for lizzy's bday (not actual) but at least it was the party night! i stayed up all night baking and doing my research for comm skills (but i screwed it up eventually by losing my notes!)

And now for my very first clubbing experience! it was surprisingly really fun to get high and just dance! though i didn't rely on alcohol to get high that night. thanks to liz's sista, we got a table and vip stamps! aww we all felt so damn special that night~ and to my surprise! i met justin and zhuo wei there! and i was surprised not only cause they were there but we were both there for the same party! thats cause justin knew Laura! church friends i think? yea i got to know new friends like kimberly, joy, and Zimu. I just mentioned those people i actually did talk to, though there were a few others there i didnt say much to them =( too shy! HAHAHHA!



I realised there isn't a need to blog about my whereabouts or my everyday happenings as its tiring and rather unnecessary, so i'll just blog only when there something worthy to blog about!

Man In The Mirror

I've decided to start blogging once again.
Maybe its a good way to make me less dependent on my friends
I've been talking to all my friends so much (hiding no secrets at all)
Cause I'm always to lazy to either blog or write my feelings down in trusty "alfie"
I'm not really sure what to start with since haven't been blogging since school have started but there have been so much drama in my life lately!

My new class 2M04 is awesome! like totally! as in much better than expected. We're pretty bonded.




Row 1 of the photos:
[18th May 09] It was the first class outing to celebrate Jon's Bday Went Astons. It was my first time there and the food was really good! Will go back for sure. I baked some cheesecake brownie thingy that looked pretty hideous. I didn't dare to give to Jon at first but i still did in the end. Argh so embarrassing. The whole class lan-ed together while me and eldora went to shop for braaaaaa. HAHAHAHAH and tau huay-ed with them after all the shopping.

Row 2:
[6th June 09] Peiling's Bday celebration. Went for 3D Monsters VS Aliens Movie. Laughed like mad throughout the movie. Had free drinks and popcorn, KUDOS to hanyang! hung out at "picturehouse". They Lan-ed again. I left at 11.15pm? On a side note, I think Gabriel Thomas have like super good time management. He always says he'll leave at this time and he'll really leave. Unlike me, i'll never reach home the time i told my mum i would.

Row 3:
[16th June 09] Went to Nic's Ulu house for Steamboat with 2M04. Nic had a really adorable papillion, which was my distraction for the night! The food that Edmund's Aunt Prepared was really good! I really appreciate he's aunts help! we watched "Don't Mess with the Zohan" which was a really dumb movie i watched with the clique last year? HAHA! and going home from he's place was damn retarded. Cause i left with Cheng Yong and i remembered Teasing him about he's "China" Phone which he insisted it was a "Taiwan" Phone HAAHAH to cheng yong: Ming Wee ming wee remember? LOL LOL LOL but i forgive your china phone since it has cool keypads HAHA

Something i'm gonna say now its something i've never told anyone. But i always felt anything thats phoebe its never a secret. So i shall just shoot. Is it me but though the class is bonded but i still feel left out at times? I don't think i have much in common with my class girls. And i'm never those that would change to blend in. I'm closer to the boys in my class. okay actually not all the guys but more like Jonathan and uhm maybe Gabriel?




This year i had my 18th at Timbre, 8 days before the actual day. WOW?
Yea so heres how it goes... A day before the Timbre celebration with avey and liz, ave called and said she couldn't make it for the party afterall so it'll be just me and lizzie. so oh well! i went shopping the entire day with liz at zara and all and head down to timbre like around 7pm. AND TO MY SURPRISE! gabriel, joey and jonathan and that sneaky aveling was there too! HAHAHAH wth they're such sweet people. And this proves that liz is so good at keeping secrets that she didnt hint me one bit the whole entire time we're out shopping! HAHAH on a side note, the thin crust pizzas and live acoustics by EIC was so darn good! i wish we could go there together next time! and luckily though not every knew each other, we got along fine. HEH



WE GOT PRICKED!
We actually skipped Accounting Lecture that day just to slack and wait for the peak hours charge to be over so AVELING KANG MUN TING could cab home (as usual). Then i suggested we get "THE BEST MILO IN THE WORLD" from design. and said we should seat on the grass near the soccer field where the banglahs from engine usually plays after school. HAHA and then, we thought the grass would be soft and all since it's carpet grass. BUT it totally pricked out butts, legs and BACK.. cause smart aveling said we should take some shots of us lying down on the grass.. HAHHAHAHA it was so fun~ we had lotsa candid shots and talked about the most retarded things every! like how romantic that fountain area was, and minutes later it started drizzling and those water from the fountain splatted on us! NICEEEE. romantic MUCH?

Reported by PHOEBE

catch me if you can!

HEY EVERYBODY~

i think i just got bored of blogger.
so i'll be using my livejournal for now.
BUT perhaps not for long!

MY LIVEJOURNAL

OVER dued

some overdued photos that i have yet to update!

HAHA
xiao yan stayed over at my place when my mum was in taiwan for the last day
we ate lotsa cup noodles
talk crap
watched tv
blogshopped
usual camwhorings

While staying at my auntie's place,
had alot fun with my cousin, KYN
now i know he is also a camwhorer!
HAHAHHA

you don't know

Yea some updates!

school has officially ended but this states the start of the crazy examssssss!
anw the last day where we had class together for the last time was FRIDAY, 13th Febraury!
took alot of photos and all!

Anyway, its been almost a week that i'm staying here at my auntie's house and shes damn nice luh! When i'm a mother someday i hope i can be like her!
Did some baking and taught my cousin how to do he's homework!
[Its seriously damn though to teach a kid to study]
sighhhhh
But now i was deciding to go back like today? cause i'm having 2 papers on this FRIDAY!
AND i havent even started studying!?!?! OMGOMGOMG
so anw, i'll try studying like now? this afternoon? then if its productive,
i'll just stay on? if not i'll just go back today.


Let me tell you that i'm so in love with Charlotte Russe?
I wanna get so much stuffffffffff!
tell me which to get and which not to or just get all!?




AND to add on, Remember everyone got a small valentine note from each of our classmate on this coloured paper?
I'm truly touched and happy about this idea!
who was the one who came out with this idea!?

Though everything was great, i still have something i'm unhappy about during the last day of school, and something i was extremely happy on thursday.
ALL this is either gonna be blogged in my old private blog or be dumped in my diary!
HAHAHAH
but you little piece of FAKE PERFECTION!
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

you are nice, but too nice it seems fake at times
maybe i'm jealous or just envious
BUT i still hate you
you took my friends
somehow?
through your gentle comforting words,
your ways of thoughtfulness
your irritating-ness at times which people thinks its cute
And me which is totally opposite of you
do NOT have a very thoughtful personality
DO NOT know how to comfort people with words, LIKE YOU DO
thus, friends that was once mine appreciate you more!
i know thats nth wrong but still
I HATE YOU!
stop being such an angel
shielding others when i'm arguing them
letting me be in a difficult position?
and claiming you're just telling me whats right?
OMG SERIOUSLY
you're nice but don't be too nice!
its freaky
and please DO NOT try to be nice at the wrong time
it totally DISGUST ME
your actions
your face
how you can't handle someone you actually like
why must you act so disgustingly when its obvious you like him
i'm not asking you to admit it to him
but dont express your shit in such disgusting ways alright

YOU DONT HAVE TO KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING
SO AS LONG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
AND I WANNA VENT ALL THIS SHIT
SO CHOOSE TO IGNORE IF U WANT!




and specifically for all my dear friends out of LOVE:

LOVE HURTS

Love, it hurts some how you just can't get enough of the same hurt
you just pick up the broken pieces
and go back for more
until there are no more pieces to break

I know this doesnt seem like some word of encouragement at all.
BUT i hope it enlightens you all like it did to me
cause why keep getting hurt?
and we all seem like we don't mind
cause we love that person truck loads?
I don't see whats so worth it as life is worth much more!
and live life while we're still young!
anw i HOPE YOU GUYS ARE HAPPY ALRIGHTS!

Bitter Sweet Poetry

WARNING! this would be a extremely long post with lotsa photos and ranting!

Firstly, it was Amandal's Surprise Birthday Party Today! so straight after OB tutorial, Maria, Dev, Candice, Morg and I all rush down to his house by Cab. didnt cost as much as i expected it to be though. [phew]
He's house has to dogs one "xiao-hei" and the other is "fridayz" i emphasize its with the ZZZ HAHAHA
what random names for a pet.

i'll stop crappin' and view the photos!



We were in the cab and i swear this is the coolest cabbie i've came across!.. he could speak so many languages!
linguistic man indeed

Stefan was like freaking lame walking around when i gave cue for a group shot!
so like many shots were interrupted! but it was funny!



YAY! group photo with birthday girl! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY AMANDAL!

SERIOUSLY, the 3 girls were CAMWHORERS! they wanted to keep posing
but my cam batt was running low initially so not much photos today

RANDOM moments, maria was such a "Good" photographer!
Nah i was kidding... was really impressed that you could get 4 of us in one of the photo! -HUGS-

Banners, candles, decors and all were all put up by marcella, eilise, denise and dionne before the sun goes down! HAHA it wasnt easy.
AND they GAMBLED GAMBLED GAMBLED. blackjack i think?

morgan had like 6 of this "SURVIVORS" torches which were like damn cool!
so romantic eh? building up all the atmosphere for amandal's party!
guess everything went out well. Though most of us were not familiar with their friends so were kinda hiding at one corner.. HAHA

Love you guys..

To continue...

I freaking quarreled with my mum today, a violent one.
I know i know you guys are so gonna think like why am i so unfilial and all
BUT

she really pissed me off this time! i said before, i can tolerate her so as long as she don't irritate and get on my nerve!
if you nag, the most i'll be annoyed
but she freaking hit my head damn hard just because of the word "shut-up"
its not like the first the i've said it.. and she has this bad habit of pushing blames to others
when its totally all her fault?
is it my fault that she learned how to function the com and forgets?
is it my fault that she has to ask others for IT help and blame me for not helping her since shes not learning?
I cant help her all her life and i think she should seriously start learning everything she thinks is important to her, HERSELF!
and stop relying and always pushing blames to others!
and when we quarrel she'll always call daddy and make me sound like i'm totally in the wrong!
SHIT HER! can't she freaking learn to be independent and STOP relying on others
for things that she herself can handle!
I BROKE A BOWL TODAY
thats cause i was freaking mad at how hard she hit my head and still think its okay that shes doing that
my head was so freaking RED can? i think if she hit a little harder it would just BLEED!
she keeps shouting and emphasizing that shes the mum so she can do anything she wants
EVEN if its HITTING ME?
FUCK YOU!
i'm human not a freaking punching bag!
so i will tend to retaliate! ARGHH
sometimes i so feel like killing her [i dont mean like real KILL KILL but just a description to HOW ANGRY I AM NOW!]
and she just wouldn't stop threatening me to move out everytime we quarrel!
F you... who do you think u are?
even though you bought this house, but since you've given birth to me
i guess its your responsibility of providing me shelter while i cant afford one!
and since daddy cant take care of me
then stop pushing me away like i'm a burden! or like whatever
i'm not a "IT" that can be pushed around!
I scolded lotsa vulgarity at her today too!
i know what you people will think again
BUT if she was YOUR mum
I BET YOU WOULD DO THE SAME!
whatever FUCK you !!!!!!!!!

Are you human?

When i was scared, You didn't call
When i was bored, You can't be bothered
When i needed to talk to someone, You couldn't answer

Sometimes i feel you're like a non-living thing
...Living in a different dimension of this world!
Sometimes i think you're OGLY
...But i couldn't care less, Cause you're too nice! (not to me, but just nice alright)

Sometimes i wish you would do more
... So i could like you more
You're too on and off.. and i'm dosing off soon AGAIN!
and valentines day's coming and i'm gonna be alone again
i'm okay since it has always been this way..

OKAY BYE RANDOM-NESS!

2009 Lunar New Year

will be updating this space soon, SOON i say!

HAPPY NIU YEAR!...

okay finally i have completed my Marketing Project! (its a seriously short part for me but i don't know why i'm always so last minute, lazy, slow, and having such bad time management)
Still had some sense of accomplishment though, cause i hadly send my completed work before dued date, usually on the day itself? OMG RIGHT! haha

Back to all the new year period's blogging!

This new year really felt like a new year at first cause i kinda got hooked to blogshopping before christmas and got myself lotsa new clothes! but other than that it was only like 2 to 3 days of new year mood before it all fades off! ARGH why? (Maybe cause mum's away in taiwan and leaving me all alone for this lunar new year? sobs sobs)

DAY 0 of Lunar New Year (eve)

Yea its all the usual process of reunion dinner gatherings! For others they would usually just eat at one place, which is going to the Dad's side for dinner. But for me, since my parents ain't together, i have to go both sides to eat cause my mum is stubborn about the fact that i live with her so i must eat with her side first! Whatever luh, i'm also starting to enjoy both side's relative's company. Kyn is also Growing up alot.

Some photos luh alright... i'll stop the ranting:

End of the Reunion Dinner Day!

Day 1 of Lunar New Year

Went to "bai nian" at my ahma's house first around 12.30pm. All those ang pow taking sessions, Lunch together with my cousins. Its scary to realise how much we've grown throughout these years! OMG OMG. I love them so much as we've been all kinda close since we're young. Miss those swimming times tgt! HAHA. Anw yea the fish and pork ahma added into the soup was damn nice so we kinda got bloated on that! HAHAHA

After that it was second round of day 2, which was following Hui Xuan to her hougang ah ma's place. I am not their blood related relative though they've seen me before and know me. But i was happy going there as it is like CHILDREN GALORE there! haha tiring to handle them but so cute so i didnt really mind. The kids there grew so much in just one year! and there was a new baby girl! Curry there was good too!

PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS:

End of Day 1 of Lunar New Year!

Day 2 of Lunar New Year

Went to the temple in the morning with Popo and Ka moh. My grandma said it won't be a good year for the Goats this year. (I'm born in the year of Goat) thats why she told me to go to the temple to do some praying to ward of bad luck? Okay i don't see any harm praying for positive reasons so i just went for it! At night, i Went to Ka Moh's house again and we had Steamboat with Popo around. My Taiwanese aunty makes the best Steamboat ever! YUM YUM~
[Didn't bring my camera along on this day thus no photos]

Day 3 of Lunar New Year

Today is my cousin's Kyn's birthday celebration! In the morning i went to many places, First was going all the way to St nicolas Girls school at yio chu kang to collect the things i bought from a blogshop, next was going bugis to get my "I LOVE NY" tee (quite a dissapointment) not cheap alright. Then next was going City Hall to meet another blogshop owner. Last stop was tiong bahru where i make a new ez-link card as i lost the "old" one. SIGH waste time waste money! I also bought named keychains for kyn's birthday present and one for myself too! and a box of 9 chewy junior donuts for the party but i have to end up finishing it all myself... long story... Ka Moh baked some Vegan almond oreo chocolate Cupcakes and top it up with Mascaporne Cheese! BEST combination ever! omg omg

Photo Flood!

A video to end of with!
the video is still loading into youtube.. will update again! toodles..